A pretty primary school teacher is concerned about one of her pupils… so she takes him to one side after class and asks, “Little Billy, I’m concerned about your work, you seem distracted”.
Blushing… Little Billy replies, “I’m in love miss”.
Smiling, the teacher asks, “Who with?”
Little Billy replies, “With you miss”.
The teacher says, “But Billy, don’t you know how silly this is? It’s true… I want a husband one day, but I don’t want a child”.
Little Billy replies, “Don’t worry miss, I’ll pull out and cum on your tits!”
An 8 year old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the garden and asked him, "Grandpa, what is sex?"
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Composing himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple of secs."
Little Billy comes home with wet hair.
“Why is you hair wet Billy?” asked his mum.
“Me and Bobby were playing being doggies”, replied Billy.
“Well that doesn’t make you end up with wet hair”, his mum stated.
Little Billy replied, “It does when it’s your turn to be the lamp post!”
A bloke spots a Jamaican putting up a sign in his front garden that says, ‘BOAT FOR SALE’.
The man looks, but all he can see is a caravan and a Jeep.
He walks up to the Jamaican and asks, “Where’s the boat? All I can see is a caravan and a Jeep.”
“Ya mon”, replies the Jamaican, “... and they boat for sale!”
I'd been seeing this Nurse for a few days and we finally got round to shagging... As I stripped off I said to her, "You must have seen a few cocks where you work? How do you rate mine?"
She replied, "It's just slightly bigger than most I see."
I said, "Thanks, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?"
"I'm a Midwife" she replied.
Paddy is in the pub telling his mates about his first parachute jump with the army. Paddy says, "We were about 30,000 feet up when they started to jump, when it was my turn I just couldn’t jump… no way! Then this huge black guy pulled out his 12 inch cock and says, Paddy, if you don’t jump I will stick this baby right up your arse."
Paddy’s mates asked “...did you jump?"
Paddy replies “...well, just a bit when it first went in.”
There was a big fight at a gypsy wedding in Ireland.
After the arrests, the case goes to court and the judge asks, "Can anyone explain what happened?"
Paddy says, "I can your honour, I was the best man and I was dancing with the bride so I was. We were dancing quite close when the groom stormed up and kicked the bride in the fanny so he did".
"I see", said the judge. "That must have hurt."
"Bloody right", says Paddy "... he broke three of my fingers".
