Tuesday, 24 May 2016


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic rubbish bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 note fell out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Damn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no,” said the old lady. “You see; my garden yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really hack me off. It kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, “Why not make the best of it?” So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his cock through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, “O.K., buddy! Give me £20, or off it comes.”

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

She says, “Not everybody pays up.”

Monday, 23 May 2016

Little Billy and Gambling

So Little Billy’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Billy unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.

One day in class, Billy raises his hand and says, “Teacher, I’ll bet you £50 I can guess what colour your underwear is.”

She replies, “Okay, meet me after class and we’ll settle it.”

But before class ends, she goes to the bathroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Billy makes his guess. “Blue.”

“Nope. You got it wrong,” she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn’t wearing any underwear.

“Well come with me out to my Dad’s car, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get you the money.”

She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Billy that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

His dad exclaims, “That mother fucker! He bet me £200 this morning that he’d see your pussy before the end of the day!”