Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterwards, wearing a grey Chanel number.
After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine. Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment in Chelsea. Susanna, their daughter, attends drama school. They also have a second home in France.
Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to become a doctor and then became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in The City. They live in the Kensington area and have a second home in Italy.
Mary explains that after she left school at 17, she ran off with her boyfriend, Mark. They run a tropical bird park on the Sunshine Coast in Australia and grow their own vegetables. Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Aldi they live in a small flat and have a caravan parked on the front drive.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people's home. They live in Stratford and take camping holidays at Butlins.
Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.