Tuesday, 2 October 2012


An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up bowls. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to inquire why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish bowls club?

Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are Jock. 

Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.

Scot: Aye, so do I.

Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?

Scot: Aye, neither do I.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scot: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So you are circumcised?

Scot: Aye, I be that too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.

Scot: Ach, away with ye man. I know that ye have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that ye have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that ye have to be a complete prick to join a bowls club.

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