Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

11. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

12. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

13. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

14. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

15. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.