Psychiatrist

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him... “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared... I think I’m going crazy.”

“Just put yourself in my hands for one year”, said the psychiatrist. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

“How much do you charge?” I asked.

“Eighty pounds per visit”, replied the expert.

“I’ll sleep on it”, I said.

Six months later, he met me on the street. “Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.

“Well, eighty pounds a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for £10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new car!”

“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed! There isn't anybody under there now!”