Vacancy

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and were then led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

Murphy: “And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.”

Manager: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

Murphy: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”

Manager: “Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, ‘I don’t know.’ You wrote down, ‘Neither do I.’”

Little Billy and Sex education

The teacher walked into the fifth grade sex education class and said, “Okay, today students we will be talking about the male penis. Can any of you explain what that is?”

Little Billy at the back of the classroom was waving his arm.

The teacher points to him and says, “Do you know what I’m talking about Billy?”

“Yes, ma’am I do. My daddy has two penises", he says.

“What!?” the teacher says. “What do you mean your daddy has two penises?”

“Well ma’am, yes he does. He has a small one that he pees with and a big one that he brushes the babysitter’s teeth with.”